Blog
Value Able
4/30/2022 by Matt LewellynWhat should we do when the feelings of worthlessness tear at our souls? In the church, we get tempted to tell people to just find their worth in Christ. Holding to great truths of faith is good, but emotions do not necessarily respond in kind.
Such persistent emotions are signals, telling us something is out of whack in our lives. The worst thing to do is to try to "just stop it" - where is the signal pointing?
Tempting Christ
4/15/2022 by Matt LewellynSometimes we can feel like life is a giant, cosmic-scale buildup to a misfire, like it is inevitably a waste of time and space. We feel like we're trying to set up spiritual fireworks - that every prayer, every Bible study, etc., will add to the powder. Someday, we think, the fuse will be lit, and all of that work will burst forth in beautiful light and shape.
Then we feel like the fog of life is dampening the powder, and we haven't been lit yet. Or that we have been lit, and the dampness made it all fizzle out. But if we encounter Jesus in Gethsemane, he is with us in temptations. And he is with us in the pain.
Praying Away Darkness
4/4/2022 by Matt LewellynIt is so very hard to understand when the dark night of the soul persists for years on end, even when you have prayed against it. Here I was, hunched over once again, alone, eyes shut tight. Hands clasped. Sometimes mouthing the words, sometimes out loud. A great weight on my mind, pressing down even on my soul - and I, not having the words to express it…
Burning the Weeds
3/15/2022 by Matt LewellynThe subtle notion that our efforts will net us brownie points with God - that is destructive to the child of God.
Combine that notion with either knowledge or fervor, and we have a lethal potion indeed. Put all three together, and we go nuclear.
Aware
2/22/2022 by Matt LewellynWhen we finally learn that what we thought was intense godly activity was actually an unending hamster wheel seeking to create a world in our own image - that's when we can start to pick up our heads, look around, and see what God is actually doing in our time.
Balance
1/29/2022 by Matt LewellynJim felt disturbed. He'd been having a good week - successful at work, and decent time with his family. He had been pretty pleased with life, but this morning, he woke up feeling quite different. He stewed on it quietly for a while, it felt like a bottomless pit in his stomach. In his estimation, nothing seemed to have changed, but he felt as if the world had tilted on its axis a bit and thrown him off balance.
Breaking Point
1/18/2022 by Matt LewellynWe all have our particular breaking points, where we feel like we don't have the tools to go on doing the things we have to. In the evangelical world, if there's one class of people we've assumed is immune from all of this, it's the clergy. Such an expectation brings pressure on the soul.
Depending on the make-up of the minister's psyche, that pressure will either be in balance with general countenance, or it will shove a pastor to a darker, more foggy path.
Sheep and Wolves: A Parable
1/1/2022 by Matt LewellynJoe was a great sheepdog. He had spent several seasons now, rounding up the flock from the grazing fields, showing the sheep where the best grass was, and chasing off predators. He'd been a great sheep too - one who looked to the shepherd for direction and who didn't stray out of the pasture, as some of the sheep did.
Every once in a while, Joe noticed that one of the sheepdogs got too rough with the sheep and turned into something more sinister. He'd seen that kind of animal before - but it was usually one that the sheepdogs chased away. A wolf.
Out of Phase
12/16/2021 by Matt LewellynThe church in the West is at risk these days. Risk of not taking life in the fog seriously - risk of dismissing a significant number of people both within and outside of the church.
We're out of phase, for whatever reason. Our light doesn't reach them, their light doesn't reach us.
Problem? Solution!
11/29/2021 by Matt LewellynThe sins that so easily entangle me are vexing, and seem to clutch with unyielding tentacles. The sins that entangle you - well, I can solve that problem by giving you some simple action steps.
We'll often ignore the double standard there in practice, won't we? Or we can dismiss temptations out of hand as things we're above experiencing. But that doesn't reach into the ways our trials are entwined with our stories, and it doesn't give justice to the created self we ought to be, damaged as it is in the fallenness of sin.