Blog
Progress
7/8/2022 by Matt LewellynTake a peek in the mirror, like it's a large television. Yes, you recognize that person in there. You know this show, you know this set. You know this character's backstory backwards and forwards. You know how you would write this character, if you were playing that role. What you would do, what you would accomplish.
Then you look back to the real, and you wish the mirror world was real instead...
Woods
6/29/2022 by Matt LewellynLife can have trails that seem clear and safe at first but lead to seemingly impossible situations. And the answer is not to stomp on the problem with our best verses, pithy sayings, and turns of phrases.
Only one thing to do: put one foot in front of the other, again and again.
Reckoning
6/9/2022 by Matt Lewellyn"Faith communities and institutions should be a place of safety and refuge, but oftentimes for survivors of sexual abuse the church has been a negative turning point in their recovery and their faith journey... What they often receive are negative social reactions to disclosures which can result in worsening symptoms of shame, depression, posttraumatic stress syndrome, disengagement from the faith community, and even suicide." (Guidepost report, 135)
The investigation is complete, the report is released, and the next SBC annual meeting is just days away. For decades, trampled souls have cried out for justice. Will the church answer?
Value Able
4/30/2022 by Matt LewellynWhat should we do when the feelings of worthlessness tear at our souls? In the church, we get tempted to tell people to just find their worth in Christ. Holding to great truths of faith is good, but emotions do not necessarily respond in kind.
Such persistent emotions are signals, telling us something is out of whack in our lives. The worst thing to do is to try to "just stop it" - where is the signal pointing?
Tempting Christ
4/15/2022 by Matt LewellynSometimes we can feel like life is a giant, cosmic-scale buildup to a misfire, like it is inevitably a waste of time and space. We feel like we're trying to set up spiritual fireworks - that every prayer, every Bible study, etc., will add to the powder. Someday, we think, the fuse will be lit, and all of that work will burst forth in beautiful light and shape.
Then we feel like the fog of life is dampening the powder, and we haven't been lit yet. Or that we have been lit, and the dampness made it all fizzle out. But if we encounter Jesus in Gethsemane, he is with us in temptations. And he is with us in the pain.
Praying Away Darkness
4/4/2022 by Matt LewellynIt is so very hard to understand when the dark night of the soul persists for years on end, even when you have prayed against it. Here I was, hunched over once again, alone, eyes shut tight. Hands clasped. Sometimes mouthing the words, sometimes out loud. A great weight on my mind, pressing down even on my soul - and I, not having the words to express it…
Burning the Weeds
3/15/2022 by Matt LewellynThe subtle notion that our efforts will net us brownie points with God - that is destructive to the child of God.
Combine that notion with either knowledge or fervor, and we have a lethal potion indeed. Put all three together, and we go nuclear.
Aware
2/22/2022 by Matt LewellynWhen we finally learn that what we thought was intense godly activity was actually an unending hamster wheel seeking to create a world in our own image - that's when we can start to pick up our heads, look around, and see what God is actually doing in our time.
Balance
1/29/2022 by Matt LewellynJim felt disturbed. He'd been having a good week - successful at work, and decent time with his family. He had been pretty pleased with life, but this morning, he woke up feeling quite different. He stewed on it quietly for a while, it felt like a bottomless pit in his stomach. In his estimation, nothing seemed to have changed, but he felt as if the world had tilted on its axis a bit and thrown him off balance.
Breaking Point
1/18/2022 by Matt LewellynWe all have our particular breaking points, where we feel like we don't have the tools to go on doing the things we have to. In the evangelical world, if there's one class of people we've assumed is immune from all of this, it's the clergy. Such an expectation brings pressure on the soul.
Depending on the make-up of the minister's psyche, that pressure will either be in balance with general countenance, or it will shove a pastor to a darker, more foggy path.