You see a mirror in the corner of a room. From a distance, you can tell that the world is a little brighter in that mirror - the positive attributes of life are highlighted. You walk over to that mirror to get a closer look. Suddenly, life's purpose seems clearer, there are nice colors that elicit pleasant thoughts, and you can see how your life weaves into the tapestry of humanity. The mirror practically glows with this energy of synergy with the universe.
Turning around... Why would you turn around - there is so much to see in this mirror. Why would you not be entranced? But turning around, there's a mirror in the other corner of the room. That one looks... a little less kept. Cobwebs hang from it, and the light seems, well, dimmer in that area. And like a mild vacuum of sorts, it draws you away from the bright mirror.
Where the pleasant mirror had delightful sounds emanating from it, there is now a dull silence as you approach the second mirror. Color is strangely absent - you can discern a mild scale of grays in its stead. A slight mist of fog elicits from the reflective surface. Then you stand in front of the mirror and see yourself in its light.
What do you see in that mirror? And honestly - which of the two mirrors are you drawn to, from thence forward?
Many of us certainly follow the siren call of the first mirror. After all, the apostle Paul tells us to think on whatever is good, lovely, pure, etc. "Think on these things," he says, almost as if our life depends upon it. And most of us, when asked, would surely assert our preference for the first mirror. But in our heart of hearts, which mirror are we drawn to?
I suspect that many of us, despite our best judgment and efforts, are strangely enamored with the second mirror. There is a certain neural pathway in our brains that says, "Yeah, the bright mirror is a great place to be, but over here is where I really belong." And following that, we find ourselves entranced in its light - or the lack thereof.
Lest you think anyone in the Christian life is immune to this state of being, let me tell you - even experienced pastors and missionaries are caught up at this mirror. There is no professional path of Christianity that makes us automatically travel a "better" path by instinct.
In fact, the profession itself of such ministerial focus lends itself to suffering greater effects from the chasm separating the two mirrors. Pastors need not deceive their congregations about who they are and what psychospiritual maladies they experience within their vocation. The fact is, everyone in the congregation has an idea of who a pastor is - the staunch, unyielding paragon of following after God, who will never question the faith or their own calling. In the eyes of the parishioner, the pastor is the one who always has an answer - who will always be there.
But who is there for the pastors? I want to see the church realize that the way we approach and treat our pastors and other vocational ministers is creating wounds in their souls! They are all experiencing the pressure of our expectations - far beyond anything they could ever have foreseen when they chose this path for their lives.
As much as we the people may be drawn toward that second mirror, count on the reality that your pastor is as well. Statistics have shown by far that most pastors experience a battle with depression. And who ministers to the ministers? Who do they get to go to for help, that isn't more of the same "read your Bible more and pray more" variety? And how do you think that continuing experience will affect their ministries?
The change begins with the realization that a significant portion of us are fundamentally drawn toward that second mirror. We reject the positive mirror because we aren't comfortable with how narcissistic we'd have to be to stare into it for very long. But the second mirror - we could find out what's wrong with us and fix it. Right? And that's what we should be doing in the Christian life - ferret out the sin and do something about it. Right?
What deserves our attention at this moment is this: we are drawn to the second mirror, and we expect someone out there (pastor, counselor, life coach, etc.) to walk us out of it. But we aren't talking about the experience, no one is, and so those wounds of the soul are not being addressed.
Without some of this out in the open, those wounds will not be touched, either directly or tangentially. No one wants to do this, I don't believe. But doing so is absolutely essential to the ministry of Christ in the church - there needs to be an exploration of how the spheres of heaven and hell both impinge upon our experience in this life on earth.
Two mirrors stand in a room. Which one pulls you in?
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