I came across an article in InsideHook recently, discussing the spectrum of addiction. "Hardcore" addicts hit rock bottom, and then they will shame and belittle those who realize they have a problem but have not reached that extreme. In their world, a problem is not really a problem until it crosses the Rubicon to become very public. This is the essence of the Functional Hurting.

The Functional Hurting know something is wrong (hence the hurting), but are functional enough in day-to-day life that they don’t see the cost/benefit payoff of seeking help. “I’m depressed/anxious but not bad enough to need clinical treatment.” “I know porn is a problem, but I’m not a sex addict - those people need help.” “Things that should bring me joy, well, they aren’t… But someone needs the help more.”

We often like life situations to be clear-cut with straight lines connecting the dots. We find comfort and security in being able to apply our own judgment and perspective, while having confidence that reality reflects our viewpoint.

Within the fog, perspective gets twisted around a bit. Even though we’re aware our judgment may be suspect, we double down on it. We like to think of ourselves as smart, perceptive people, even given our particular struggles. Those of us who dwell in the fog regularly may well have a tendency to throw shade and shame our brothers and sisters for their position in their own journeys.

There are a lot of Christians out there who are embarrassed to share their testimony. Not because they were so bad - rather, from the world’s perspective, they weren’t that bad at all. Then in the church, they end up feeling less-than because it feels like Christ didn’t have to pour as much grace into their lives.

I’ve had conversations with churchgoers who felt the need to declare their one-upmanship as their badge of honor. It’s harder to sell that for sins and struggles after the cross, though. By then, we’re supposed to know better, be more mature, and have the wherewithal to kick any habits and weaknesses.

But it’s not quite that simple, is it? We’ve tried to kick our fog and make it disperse, but the cloud still hangs over us and dampens our experience. Hence we feel second-class, less-than, and insufficient. But we feel that in both directions: we’re not one of the “good” Christians because we don’t have the results, but we also don’t have such deep struggles as some others do. In other words, someone always has it worse.

And so we may fight our way upward by taking down the “lesser” struggles. We shouldn’t, but we do, because in our weakness we want the security that (at least in our own perspective) we stand above others. Anything to take the edge off our own experience.

The fog is a spectrum. Where we are on that field is bad enough - let us not wish worse on others.

Reference:

1. Why Do So Few Men Understand That Addiction Is a Spectrum?

2. “Aquarium Spectrograph” by Kurayba is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0